Four Months

Its already been emotional to watch my baby grow. He is now four months and time feels fast and slow all in the same. Atticus is a chatter box, feet and hair grabber, he is drooling like crazy, and started to sit up with assistance. He is a funny little boy! He loves being bounced around and tossed lightly in the air. He is very ticklish and gives us the cheesiest smiles. I love this baby boy so much. He is a terrible sleeper at night time and only sleeps well in our bed, not a good habit! We love him more and more everyday. Seriously, how can you love someone so much!?

Stud

My baby boy is seriously a stud! I love his smiles and excitement in his eyes when we sing to him and talk with him. He coo's like crazy and tries to mock the noises we do. He is the cutest little guy. Recently he has discovered his hands, I catch him staring at his hands and his arms. He can sit there for minutes and watch them, then he of course shoves them into his mouth and sucks on them. Recently he has also been drooling a ton! It's so bad, it gets all over his onsies and looks like he was hitting the gym working up a sweat. He also hates it when we play the piano, he pouts his lips and starts to cry. It's adorable and sometimes we do it just to see his cute pout. For Mother's Day my sister gave me flowers, and one of them was a sunflower and I kid you not, Atticus will talk to the sunflower and chuckle at it and flirt with it. He is seriously in love with his sunflower! We recorded it because it's the funniest thing ever! It sits on our little hutch next to the sofa and every time I go to put him on my shoulder he takes a minute to find it but when he does he fixates his eyes on it and does not stop swooning. He kills me!

Our Little "Talker"

When my dad was in town the weekend of Easter Sunday I noticed that Atticus was cooing at him as my dad would talk to him. That was new! He now is cooing and trying to smile more and more every single day. It's probably annoying to anyone else, but in order to get him to "smile" and coo I talk to him in a really high pitched voice. I just love watching him try to form sounds with his little mouth. He puckers his lips and sticks his tongue out. He is trying so so hard to get noises out, and it's the cutest thing ever! Last night he wouldn't sleep, and as I tried to let him be I could hear him cooing in his rocker...finally at 1:30am he decided to knock out. It's such an amazing experience to watch this little human grow. He is so different from just 7 weeks ago when we first met him, he's still my little baby, but he is changing daily. It makes me a little sad that he won't be this little forever and I won't always be able to snuggle him and hold him in my arms, but I can not wait to see him grow into his personality and see him through his life. Recently this little guy is such a Momma's boy!! I love it but it's also hard to get anything done. He is the fussiest baby, but when I hold him he instantly calms down and cuddles up against me. I love it. He is our everything. I love this baby boy so so much!

photos taken 04.13.16

One Month

How could he already be ONE MONTH OLD?! This is going way to fast! This little guy is such a cuddle bug, in the morning I snuggle with him in bed. He always has his hands by his face and will get out of his swaddle just to put them up to his cheeks. Sometimes he starts grunting and fighting to get his arms out of his swaddle, it's pretty great. He also loves his paci! It's his best friend and sometimes ours as well. We discovered that he loves foot massages, just like his daddy and he seriously has Zach's monkey toes. He's getting so big he is just about out of his newborn clothes. Also Atticus' eyes are getting so blue! It's the best. He's the best. We love this little chunk so so much!

The Start of a Long Week

The week before.

I was told on Wednesday February 17th that if baby boy was not coming on his own I would be induced on Tuesday February 23rd, but go in monday night to start the process. It was my third week of being at the same dilation of 1cm and 50% effaced, nothing was changing and I was already 10 months pregnant. My due date was the day before, and of course some discouragement came over me that I was still pregnant and baby boy was not coming out. Going back a few days, I was actually told the friday before that this would be the plan of inducing me if he wasn't here by Feb. 16th, since Tuesday the 23rd would be week 41 of my pregnancy. I was semi okay with the idea of being induced when Dr. Thackeray told me this plan...really I didn't think I would need to be induced, having a whole week to have him after his due date seemed accomplishable. Overall though I just wanted to have my baby the safest way possible. I was still hopeful that I would go into labor naturally without needing the induction done. It was something I had been anticipating for over a month, even longer, that I would be sleeping and my contractions would start..or I would be home and need to call Zach to hurry home and take me to the hospital...and of course the hollywood idea of "my water broke!". I really was looking forward to experiencing one of these, I wanted it to be spontaneous, and even though it made me anxious and nervous I never thought of my delivery any other way.

So I had about a week to get things moving and try to naturally have my baby. I had my parents come to town on February 13th, since I was due on the 16th (at the time I was hopeful he'd come on time). So now Zach and I were determined to have baby boy, we knew everyone was here and ready to meet him and we were excited! I looked up every possible way to "go into labor naturally" and tried all the different remedies. Here are a few to mention. So my mom started acupressure on me to help open my cervix, every night we did that. I ate pineapple everyday, to thin out my cervix. My family and I took a long beautiful 3 mile walk, to possibly start contractions. I worked out and did squats and lunges to again, help my cervix. I bounced on a yoga ball for hours everyday, also thinking contractions would start. Zach took me to get spicy indian food at my favorite place. I walked/jogged stairs at my apartment complex...I did other things as well that were told to make a woman go into labor. It was worth a shot, but none of these worked for me. I was already overly pregnant and tired, and everyone was constantly asking if I felt different or had more contractions. It was kind of disappointing at some moments when they would ask and I had nothing to report. I tried and tried and tried and nothing came about it. As we hit and soon passed my due date I became more emotional and disappointed in myself. I continued trying these remedies and others. It's hard to explain the feelings I was having. The anticipation of having him spontaneously for over two weeks, at any given moment, didn't matter anymore because I knew I would be getting induced. On thursday my mom and sister took me out to get a mani and pedi to relax. All I needed was to relax at that point.

By the time the weekend came of Friday the 19th, I was worn out. Zach and I had a deal for the past week that I would not call him while he was at work or school before I texted him, just because every time I called he thought it was time. I had this breakdown on friday and all through the weekend that I shouldn't be induced and wait until I was 42 weeks, just to give my body and baby more time to deliver naturally. Induction really scared me. The rate of having a c-section went up to 30%, and I really didn't feel comfortable with everyone pressuring me and forcing my body to go through it with medication. Looking back at it now (two weeks ago) I think what the scariest thing was, was not ever believing I would be induced and never learning about it and preparing for it. And I wanted my experience to be as I always thought it would, as every woman thinks it would be.

To make this long emotional week short, I called into the doctors office and asked if going another week would be healthy and safe for the baby. I wanted to give my body and baby a chance to go through labor naturally. My doctor's assistant, Erica, talked to me and said that I would still need to go to the hospital to monitor the babies stress levels if I decided to wait a few more days. They wouldn't force induction on me but my doctor would highly recommend me to not wait three days past tuesday the 23rd. I was torn at what to do, should I wait or cancel the induction? After talking with Zach about which decision was best, we chose to go in that night...which was the scheduled day I was up for.

So I put all of my emotions aside of "it should have been this way" and "why can't I do this" or "what will everyone think?". I really got into my head and what was most important was having my baby arrive safely.

My Boys

Today we did a little photo shoot in our home. Mostly it was of Zach and Atticus, my boys. Atticus is 11 days new and we are just so in love with our little guy. It's the best thing to watch him grow and see the little differences from day to day. I want to remember every change, moment, and growth he makes. Today he started to hold his paci in for the first time. It's funny to watch him with that pacifier, he loves that thing...and to be fair we do too! Now he holds his hand on it while sucking so it won't fall out, smart little baby, sometimes it doesn't workout but he tries. Also he starting to stretch his legs out a lot more. He'd rather them be stretched out then folded up to his body like being in the womb. This makes it hard to swaddle him, he's so dang long! Another thing I have noticed is that his left eyelashes are starting to show/grow. I'm not sure if they were always there, but we certainly didn't see them until now. But it's only his left eye...they are so so blonde! Where is all that blonde hair from?! And lastly he got a sponge bath today, he enjoys the warmth but is quick to shiver and be done. There's nothing like swaddling and snuggling a freshly bathed babe.

We love him so much and I can, and do, stare at him all day long. Here are some pictures of us three together from today.

Oh and Tia Lauren and Uncle Tio visited tonight, and Hector held him for the first time! I love that my sister is always visiting and already so involved in his life. She's the best!

Atticus Louis

My baby boy is growing every single day and I just can't get enough of him. I'm obsessed with him! We don't do much during the days...I talk to him and read books to him. He stares at me and goes crossed eyed. I watch him sleep and make cute baby sounds. And he wakes up to nurse and then snuggle. Today I noticed his eye lashes coming in on only his left eye...they are white and so little! I've never seen them before today. He is also stretching his legs out more and more, he's so cute!

Here he is from todays pictures, 9 days new.

He has Zach's feet, and he stretches his toes out like his daddy as well.  

Our blonde babe.